and that is because i haven't wanted to give you bad news. But unfortunately i have some.
The chemo has stopped working. And the tumor in her lung has begun growing again.
Which means that we have to kinda start over as far as treatment is concerned. We are stopping the Tarceva, and on the 11th, after the Tarceva is out of her system, she will begin a new Chemo- a much milder one called Alimta. This chemo has decent results, although they will be temporary.
And so.
We are getting a second opinion at the City of Hope, an excellent hospital in Pasadena. And we are staying positive. She continues to improve daily from the stroke, but now that she is not on any chemo, her cough has gotten worse, and her breathing is difficult and short.
And so.
This is, as you know, really fucking shitty news. And it just feels like the universe is kicking us when we are down. Which sucks. But again- staying positive in the face of total crap does wonders for the mood.
And so.
Mom is really suffering. Everything is so god damned difficult for her. Everything from breathing, to drinking, to going to the bathroom all present so many difficulties. She is, in many ways, living what most of us would consider to be our worst nightmare. And yet somehow she is doing it with grace, style and even a little humor. Highlights include daily outings when we walk the dog, go the beach... just simply get outside. She still has a pretty rigorous physical therapy schedule- with 3 hours a day 3 days a week. And the progress is visible.
This news is particularly hard to take because our M.O. has been, get thru the stroke, and then finish beating the cancer... and to get bad news hits mom in the last place she needs to be weakened and that is her morale.
and so.
life rushes on all around us and Team Carter has realized, perhaps for the first time that our landscape has been changed forever. And that this is the world we will be living in, for quite some time to come.
Thank you all for all your continued support and love
My mother is the bravest woman I have ever met- and this fight is one for the books. Truly.
Much love always,
and until next time,
We will remain,
Team Carter
3 comments:
You're right.
Love and hope and beautiful sunrises to you all.
I am happy to count Ziska as a friend. She introduced me to your Team Carter blog.
My family has cancer survivors, and experience w/ stroke. We also have those who have fought, found their place w/ the struggle and are no longer suffering.
I've seen the most healing occur when the patient chooses a realistic goal, that has a projection of several months.
Not an esoteric dream, but a real goal:
"I'll see _____ graduate."
"I'll be present for the annual_____."
Please accept this advice in the healing spirit in which it is intended.
With Peace,
Abby
Hi Carters:
I don't often write, and never really to these sorts of web-things.
And so:
I love you guys and think often on what you are going through. Most of that love, I send your way, even if you don't know that. The rest I keep, so that I can remember who you are and where I came from.
-James
Post a Comment